Stories · Family
Should Dad move in?
You work in Seattle. Your father is 72 and has lived alone in your hometown since your mother died last year. You're thinking of bringing him to live with you, but your place has two bedrooms and a five-year-old. Your older sister lives in a small town near home, so you call her to talk it over.
Who you're talking to
Your sister, your older sister, living near home.
(it's noisy on her end) Hello? Just finished up. You want to talk about Dad?
Questions to start with
- “What does Dad himself want?”
- “How's his health lately?”
- “How much can you help out?”
Your sister won't volunteer everything. Some of what matters only comes out if you ask the right follow-up questions.
Questioning habits this story trains
- Say what matters more to you. For example: “For me, stability matters more than extra money.”
- Ask about the downside they skipped. For example: “What's the worst that could happen?”
- Don't let pressure or friendship push you. For example: “What happens if I answer in two days?”
- Find the unspoken premise. For example: “For that to hold, what else has to be true?”
The decision
When you've heard enough, you give Your sister your answer face to face. The choices include:
- Move Dad to Seattle soon
- Dad stays home: day care, your sister nearby, you visit monthly
- Hire a live-in caregiver back home
- Have Dad stay in Seattle for two months as a trial, then decide together
Then you read what happened a year later, see how sound your decision was, and get notes on the key moments of your conversation with a better way to say each.
Rehearse this conversation for free. New accounts get 2 free rounds. One round takes under 10 minutes.
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